My loves!
It’s children’s day, and I recently noticed that I have stopped looking up to adults like a child and am more comfortable looking around and supporting them when I get the chance. As a child, it was easy to blame adults for certain actions because they should know better, but standing where I am now, I can see that every adult is only a tad bit different from an average 13-year-old. Come with me…
I’ve noticed that the older I get, the younger older people look. Let me explain. When I was younger, between the ages of 10 and 15, I had a stereotype for 40-year-olds; in fact, 25 seemed like a big adult age. Now, with more years on earth than the distance between myself and a 40-year-old, I know that 40 is such a young age.
Granted, most people in their 40s have started a family, figured out their careers, and seem to have a direction in life, which are all good things and laudable achievements. But they are also humans. Just like a 20-year-old, they can be confused as hell and make mistakes, sometimes bigger mistakes. If you have regrets in your 20-25 years of life, try adding a few more years of winging it and figuring life out.
I’d say life is the same for all of us, only in different shades. Our problems have the same backbone but are on different scales. While Femi, in his 40s, is trying to make his family (wife and children) happy, Ade, in his 20s, is trying to make his family proud (parents and siblings). Audaciously, I’d say we get older to fight the battles we entered at younger ages. That lackadaisical attitude you didn’t work on as a younger person comes back to bite you in your old age. The complacency you thought was cool is costing your happiness. Oh! You thought you had the best life, but wait till something shifts and you see all the flaws because one thing time will do is expose the hidden things. The crazy thing is, even after you figure out some of these things at 40, other factors add up and create another hill at 60; I say this to say that no one person has it all figured out, and that leads me to my next point.
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We always pray for God’s grace, but do you ever see the need to extend that grace to others? I started putting myself in the shoes of random people to understand why they act the way they do. I can tell you that it made me really soft—so soft that I would forget my problems just to help and comfort them. You think she was rude? what if she was only tired and couldn’t work up a smile? Oh, you expect me to understand that your make-up looks terrible because you were rushing, but the babe that paired her dress with the wrong shoes has a faulty fashion sense?
You would be kinder if you really dig what lies beneath the surface. Do this for me: when next you are about to make a rude or demeaning comment, create a scenario where that could have been you and be kind. Wait, you think it can never be you? LOL
Anyway, there must be a balance in all things, and I have learned to prioritize my needs. However, years of consideration have taught me to extend the grace I would love to receive even when I would like to be selfish.
Always remember that no stage of life is easy; we all are learning and growing, and the older we get, the sweeter we should be.
Eledumare’s masterpiece is signing out for now. Remember to be kind and graceful, so much so that the grace extends to everyone around you.