Being happy has been my goal for about 10 years now, it started shortly after I first heard the intro on “Pretty Hurts” by Beyonce. Along the line, I picked up a different philosophy that to be joyful was better than simply being happy. I would argue that happiness depended on happenings and it was fine to be swayed from my mission to be happy when the happenings were not favourable. Joy, on the other hand, comes from God, therefore, I am permitted to be joyful at all times. But what good is joy if it doesn’t transcend into happiness?
Earlier this month, I decided to renew my vow to remain happy always and I had a quick chat with Meta AI to discuss practical steps. Today, I want to share these tips with you and discuss how I have implemented them in the subsequent paragraphs. Read carefully and tell me which one of these you would be adopting.
Practice Gratitude: going back to my theory of happiness coming from happenings, I realised that the happenings do not have to be in the present. Reminiscing on things I am grateful for have a way of spurring butterflies and wrapping me in a happy bubble. I started a daily gratitude which doubles as a countdown to my birthday, the first time I did this challenge in December 2017, it took my mind off certain worries and led me to a sweet comfort. You don’t have to be loud about it. You can write it down, revisit the list when clouds gather and you will be better for it.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: negative thoughts, ideas, or content, have a sick way of interrupting our reality. As someone living and working in Nigeria, there is enough negativity to kill your joy but you can over power it. I remember one time the TV in our house was always tuned to Aljazeera, the constant news of wars, injustice, hunger, and death were affecting the aura in the house and everyone would just sit in their rooms. Lol. All we had to do was move to Zeeworld! Sometimes, all you need to do is be positive; cut your connections to negativity as much as you can and introduce a positive vibe to al you do.
Take Care of Yourself: I can’t be the only one that feels 10 times better when I visit the salon or get my nails done. Sometimes, all it takes is a nice hair cut, a satisfied craving, or a good sleep and you’re back in a happy place. Never take self-care for granted!
Connect with Nature: God created all things and called them good for a reason. When you don’t see that good in yourself, find it in other things He created and bask in the joy and happiness of having that solace. Take a walk, water a plant, pet a dog, appreciate the beauty in nature and see that beauty in yourself.
Nurture Relationships: I know the single-pringles are about to skip this one, but wait a minute. The word “relationship” is not exclusive to couples, what you have with your family is a relationship, same as what you have with your friends. Nurture that bond. Let these people shield you when sadness rears it’s head and enjoy the company they provide.
Pursue your Passion: truth be told, there’s a different kind of happiness that comes from working towards getting what you want. Pursue your passion, go after it with everything you have and when things get tough, remember where you are going and remember to be grateful for the journey so far.
Practice Mindfulness: focus on the present and leave the troubles of the future. I am very guilty of worrying in advance, even when good thingd happen, I think of the heavy lifting I would have to do in the future as a result. I am only just learning to leave tomorrow’s worry till tomorrow. There will be another post detailing how I stay mindful and present but for now just know that being present in a moment helps you appreciate the moment and live happily everyday.
Show Kindness and Compassion: on the most gloomy days, the smile of a beggar I gave my last cash to is what lights my happy candle. Being kind and compassionate towards others serves you just as much as it serves them. Let’s not talk about how that kindness will come back to you, and focus on the positivity it brings. Helping someone out of a difficult situation or simply being a shoulder to rest on gives me a happy satisfaction because it feels like God is coming down to help through me, especially when I’m facing my own difficulty in that moment.
Embrace Imperfections: this was/is another hard pill for me. Imperfections are everywhere, so much that my perfect situation could be the most imperfect thing you have seen. And what makes it worse is that some people would compliment that imperfection you are trying so hard to get rid of, but you really can’t b;ame them because they genuinely see it as a perfect situation. Why not embrace it? I’m trying to embrace my imperfections while I work on them. Work on making sure that I am not insecure about these imperfections so that I can see good in them and celebrate happily when they turn around.
Smile and Laugh often: last on the list is a no-brainer. Laugh so hard at the funny things, smile at the not-so-funny ones. Enjoy the jokes life throws your way, don’t be so hard on yourself, life has a sense of humour and you need to enjoy it
In addition to all of this, learn to draw happiness from everything around you. Everything including the way your roomate sleeps, the quiteness of early mornings, the way rats scurry when someone approaches. Simply be intentional about your happiness. Before you go, let me know which of these tips you would put in mind and why.
Till next time, Eledumare’s masterpiece wishes you a Happy June and Happy life. ✌🏾🤍